Game 144- The One Where Bartolo Colon Forgot To Take His Insulin

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Get it, Carp.

The Nats defeated the Mets last night in the opener of their four game series in New York.  Washington’s 6-2 victory reduced their magic number to 9, with just 18 games remaining.

Aside from a bit of late game drama– which Craig Stammen induced a double play to get out of– the game was never really in doubt.  The Nats were cruising the whole time.

That does NOT mean that there wasn’t anything interesting that happened though.  Ray Knight was on his best behavior last night, (and also delivered some nice words in the pregame show regarding baseball and 9/11) so he’s gonna get the day off here. But let’s take a look at the Nats home runs, the Mets TERRIBLE plays, ejections and tension, some reasons why Bob Carpenter and FP Santangelo may need to release some tension…, and payback.

A good way to kick this off is with Adam Laroche’s monster 2 run homer in the first inning.  It’s amazing what he can do when he holds onto the bat.

Have you ever played word association games with friends or loved ones? Yea, me neither.  It ALWAYS ends up being a bad idea because people just aren’t ready to hear either what you’re really thinking or how bad you are at actually thinking.  As a reminder of this, let’s watch Bob and FP play a word association game with the name, ‘Adam Laroche.’ (FP’s face is pretty priceless at the end)

“Beard” and “Hot.”  Don’t worry Hairston, Bob still thinks you’re “chiseled.” You’d think this would be a good time to chill out on the physical descriptions.  Nope:

You may want to make sure your wife doesn’t find that copy of Rudy underneath your mattress, Bob.

Phewwww.  It’s hot in here, huh?  I think it’s time to relieve some of this tension.  How about a double play ball to cool everyone off:

Doink.  Bartolo Colon is getting very hungry, very cranky, and very tense.  Time to do it yourself Bartolo.  Let’s blow this 86 MPH fastball by Anthony Rendon so that you can get back into the dugout and finish what you started with that box of Cheez Its:

Oof. Your defense won’t help you.  You can’t get anyone out.  Your clubhouse manager hasn’t ordered extra food since they expanded the rosters.  There’s only one way out of this, Bartolo.  You gotta get tossed:

Alright I think we’ve reached peak tension, frustration, and anger here.  It’s a Friday.  Let’s talk about some of the things we like to do to relax, unwind, cool off, and feel better.

Turns out that Bob likes to list Broadway musicals when he needs to relax:

Well, that’s a bit strange I suppose, but if nothing else Bob is a renaissance man.  How does FP cool off?  By talking about the hard work and sacrifices you make to get to the big league level.  Seems constructive to remember how hard you used to have it to ‘center’ yourself now and relax.

Was FP an extra in the Indiana Jones movies or something? “All those cowboy monkey rodeos and eating kids for free finally paid off.”  The ‘finally’ may be the best part of that.

Let’s head into the weekend on a positive note.  How do the Washington Nationals relieve tension:

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… with some payback.  Ow.  That is quite the welt on his wrist.  Next time, don’t wear your iWatch in a baseball game.

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