Hot or Not: Opening Week

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It’s that time of year again – time for cherry blossoms to be in bloom.

OK, time for blossoms AND Nationals
baseball. I’m guessing that when you’re not staring at really old trees, you’ve
probably been down to the ballpark and taken in a couple of games. You’ve also
probably though to yourself  ‘wow, I am already for a list; a list to tell
me who is doing well and who isn’t on the home based-ball squad, even though
the concept of small sample size tells me it is a lesson in futility this early
in the season. SOMEONE GIVE ME A LIST’.

You’re in luck, as like I did later on
in the 2012 season, I will be providing you a weekly ‘who’s hot, who’s not’
feature. It will be life changing, it will more than likely bring peace to the
Korean peninsula[1],
but most importantly, it will be a list. DISCLAIMER: it will not be
gluten-free. Sorry, Celiac Disease sufferers and Jayson Werth fans!

HOT

Let me reiterate – it’s been a week,
there’s not much to say either way about a guy and his productivity this early
in the season. Google Chris Shelton and read up on him if you need proof
of this.

That being said, I will admit that both Bryce Harper and Jayson Werth have made the most of the first week
of the season, both showing mid-season form power-wise as well as in their
hitting approaches. Sure, they are sharing the team lead in home runs with 3
each, but overall, their at bats seem a little more advanced, compared to the
rest of the team, so let’s say they’re the hottest.

For the pitchers, my HOT award goes to
Ross Detwiler. 6 innings of 1 (unearned) run ball against a potent
Cin-suh-nattuh[2]
lineup to start the season on the heels of his impressive World Baseball
Classic showing bodes well for a solid season from the Nats #5 starter.

NOT HOT

With Tom Gorzelanny now with the
Milwaukee Brewers, the jokes for this segment will be harder to come by, and
will take a little more work to make. I am up to the challenge. I think. Kind
of indifferent about it all.

…which segues well into my NOT HOT
winner(?) – Ian Desmond , and his indifferent defense thus far
in 2013. Sweet Moses on a slice of pumpernickel, Desmond has struggled. All of
his alter egos – DERPmond and DE6mond, have made the trip up north from spring
training, apparently. 4 errors in 7 games – not much else I can say, aside
from it’s early, and he’ll pull his head out of his butt soon enough.

Desmond will share the NOT HOT honours
with Dan Haren , whose first start as a Nat was a turd.
I won’t even bother to say more than that.

It’s early. Keep breathing, Nats fans.

[1] Kim
Jong Un? HUGE Nats fan.

[2] Ray
Knight pronunciation

One comment

  1. Honorable Hot mention must go to Wilson Ramos and his .923 Slugging % and Deanard Span for his .484 OBP (including a whopping 25.8% walk rate!).Honorable not-hot mention to Rafael Soriano and (sad to say) Danny Espinosa. who’s .154/.214/.269 slash line through 28 ABs is far to reminicient of his ’12 start (and his OPS being .145 lower as a lefty says we haven’t seen any results from his new LH swing/approach….yet.)

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